Destination Profiling

Yes, this is a first world problem, and yes, it's a lot better than other types of profiling (I.e., racial, gender, etc.) but dang it all if I haven't been subjected to destination profiling.

This past weekend I experienced my first big snowstorm living in NYC. Sidenote: I did experience one when I came up to visit my friend Marc before I moved. We watched all of Season 1 of Weeds and ate Chinese. It was the best trip ever.

Anyway, I decided to brave the storm Saturday night and didn't realize what a challenge getting home might be. While those NY residents living closer to downtown were picked up left and right by "off duty" cabs They'd pull over, ask where I was going, then shake their head or quote me a price. Ahem, both of which are illegal!! Actually so is acting "off duty" so you don't have to pick up distant fares.

Then this morning, I stood on 1st ave with my suitcase to head to LGA and two open cabs drove right by me. Luckily a third pulled over like a minute later but still. Shenanigans.
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Observations on Midwest Airlines

I'm heading home to SD for the weekend and then will go back to my sister's house in Omaha to hang out with her and the kiddos for the week. I was lucky enough to use frequent flyer miles that I started accumulating WAY back in 2005 when I moved East. The best route home from DC was Midwest Airlines because they had a lovely, direct flight to Omaha.

Once I flew Midwest Airlines it was really hard to fly anything else. For one, the seats are built like lay-z-boys. They're wide with tons of legroom and footrests! It's awesome! The best thing about Midwest Airlines is the chocolate chip cookies. They bake them fresh in-flight and give you two warm cookies and offer milk or coffee. Its very indicative of Midwestern hospitality and its just so homey.

Since moving to NYC, I've barely flown Midwest at all. Its just not affordable from NYC for some reason. I love the cookies but that's no reason to pay an extra $200 for a flight.

So, imagine my surprise when getting onboard that half of the seats are the old size, and half are normal size seats! I was very bummed.

The cookie deal also usually only applies to flights that take off after 9am. I get that. I really do. Cookies are not appropriate breakfast food. We have to set an example for the children. So I had to chuckle a little bit when the flight attendant announced beverage service around 715am and informed the plane that Mikes Hard Lemonade was available for $5.

So even with these disappointments the trip has been great so far. In Milwaukee I had to go through security after getting a snack between flights. The security people in Milwaukee are BY FAR the nicest people I have ever encountered. Smiles everywhere and "Do you have any liquids? I'd hate for you to have to go through again. I know that's such a nuisance." Thank you nice security people!

Just boarded the plane so I'm going to sign off but had to leave you with something. The man taking tickets at the gate's name is Ritch. I saw that and thought, "hmm, that 't' is completely unneccesary". So...how come Mitch needs a 't'? I'm pretty sure if someone named their kid "Mich" no one would pronounce it correctly. Any insight would be appreciated.

Hoping for cookies!

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Building 409

Now that I'm in the mood to write again, I was going to talk about the wonderful and memorable NYC night I just had but I walked into my apartment and I just CAN'T.

My roommate moved out a couple of weeks ago and there is another two weeks before my new roommate could move in. So, my AMAZING super decided to come in and make some repairs.

The other bedroom has had 3 years of use from two different roommates so he came in, checked it out and said he'd like to patch the walls and paint. He did that, and I came home and they also re-caulked the tub and sink and replaced a wonky tile in the shower.

BEST SUPER EVER!!!!!

I think I'll bake Fabio and his guys some cookies.
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Hazel

I was watching a movie the other day (one that Netflix recommended that I see) and one part in particular caught my attention. This woman was going to leave her husband and is ranting about, "you don't know me" blah, blah, blah and she says, "What color are my eyes?" After thinking for awhile he said, "green" when in fact...they are hazel.

I'm not really sure about you other Hazelites out there, but for some reason I get so upset when people say my eyes are brown. They are not brown, they are hazel.

I'm not opposed to brown eyes, my sisters and I all had brown eyes when we were kids. I get miffed by the inaccuracy of it. They are hazel. As the Karpen girls got older our eyes started to change color and get more and more green. Abby's are by far the lightest, then Whitney, then me.

Because most people think my eyes are brown, when someone correctly identifies them as hazel, they are immediately awarded 40 cool kid points (usually paid out in the form of a hug). And when they argue with me and say that they are brown and not hazel, they lose 100 cool kid points (quick kick in the pants). Obviously from this you can see that the most important thing is not arguing with me.

I have a lot of pride in my hazel eyes and to decrease any confusion there might be (after all, no one wants to lose cool kid points) I've started buying the "made for hazel eyes" eye shadows and eyeliners, etc. I'm wearing it today and I think it works. Ooooh, hazely.

DMV NYC

Well, I'm standing in line at the NYC DMV about 20 minutes from surrendering my Missouri driver's license. You might say, "Roxie, you've lived in two states since Missouri and the most recent for nearly 3 years. How do you still have a Missouri driver's license?" And the answer would be, "because I'm lazy and don't drive."

My MO DL expires in approximately 13 days on my birthday and am actually sad to say goodbye to it. This is probably the first time I've really looked at it in a long time and am getting misty that it has my old Plaza address. In retrospect, that was an amazing apartment. Corner unit alcove studio? Amazing.

Anyway, even though I don't drive, I figure its a good idea to have a valid driver's license for when I drive around SD.

There are a few teens here with their parents getting what I assume is their first DL. My dad took me to get my first permit almost 14 years ago! I've been driving almost half my life. Scary. You should be scared too.
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B-O-L-O-G-N-A

After years of eating 12 grain bread with turkey or chicken for lunch, I've regressed back to my childhood favorite. Bologna sandwiches on Wonder Bread! Yummy! It all started when I found that Wonder Bread has a new whole grain white bread. It's chewy goodness like regular white bread but it's a little firmer and a lot better for you.

Most people do not understand the love that I have for bologna. My dad could probably verify this, but I think I ate a bologna sandwich for lunch every day for a year. The following year, it was just cheese. Daddy, I'm proud to report that I have now combined my two favorite sandwich items and eat bologna AND cheese sandwiches. Tear, I'm growing up.

It looks like my nephew also has the bologna bug and chose to have a bologna sandwich for dinner the other night rather than bbq. While I'm not sure that's a decision I would make today, it was definitely one I would have made at his age.

Colin - Bologna and cheese is the way to go. I'll show you when I get home.
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Penelope

I tweeted about it, I'm going to add to my Favorites on Facebook, it will likely be my gchat status tomorrow and here I am blogging about it.

Rent, buy or Netflix this movie! (Don't steal it...that's wrong.) If you currently have a Netflix account, you can use the "Watch It Now" feature which is the best thing about Netflix.

I am by no means a cinematic afficionado, but I knows what I like and I like this movie! It's heartwarming, several shots made me sigh, its funny, and there are great actors. Including Reese Witherspoon who also produced the film. High five Reese, I knew I liked you.

I liked it so much, and one particular song in it that I bought the soundtrack. Imagine that my favorite song on the album is from an artist I saw open for Joshua Radin. Her name is Schuyler Fisk and the song is Waking Life.

If at all possible, see the movie and report back!
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Riker's Island

So, when I couldn't sleep the other night I decided to play with Google Maps on my phone and I was beyond excited to see there is a water taxi that goes from 34th St to LaGuardia. Not that I will likely ever take it, but I love that it exists.

So I was using my track ball to trace the water route to the airport and was noticing all these landmarks it goes by, most notably...Riker's Island.

They always talk about Riker's on Law & Order but I always think about it being upstate or something, or you know, far away. Nope, its adjacent to the runway at LaGuardia. Of course I couldn't let it end there, no, it was 1:30am, what else was I going to do?

Upon reading the history and background of Riker's I found out we also have a floating barge prison. Yes, a barge that is outfitted with cells that docks in Brooklyn on the East River. What happens if you're seasick? Is the whole barge technically a brig? Does it ever go out on the river? If it does, instead of semester at sea is it called sentence at sea? I have many questions.
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Post Surgery - 3 months later

So I think I left off with Rommi taking me home. I really wasn't feeling much pain but the blood was a little nasty.

I basically lay on the couch for days, watched DVDs and slept. I never figured out whether it was my pain pills or the antibiotics that made me so loopy. I'd always take them at the same time and then 30 mins later I was OUT OF IT.

On day 3 or so the bleeding stopped and I didn't have to change my nose diaper as much and on Day 6 I was convinced my nose straws were trying to escape, but they stayed in.

Then the doctor, who laughs like Fozzy took them out. The splints were way longer that any object should be that goes up your nose. Way. Way longer. He sucked out all the gross stuff and it was insane how well I could breathe. To quote him "it was really messed up in there". I read some guy's blog about his experience and he said, "its like drinking through a stir stick your whole life and then drinking with a McDonald's straw. Woah! Big straw. Woah! Big straw." For a few hours I was breathing so deep that my lungs we're having trouble catching up with my nose.

3 months later I feel great, I still get a little congested on one side but its better than the alternative.

If you or anyone you know is considering the surgery, do it!
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Testing...1,2,3

So I waste a whole lot of time on the subway and I don't blog anymore. I think we have a solution to the problem. I'm testing out blogger mobile, where I can post to my blog via email message. Rock on!

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My Surgery!!

I really need to get Blogger on my Blackberry. I waste a LOT of time on the subway when I could be updating my blog. Sigh.

Anyway, I thought some of you might be interested in my surgery experience, and now that I'm no longer fuzzy (due to antibiotics and Tylenol with codeine) I can actually form coherent sentences.

So, I showed up at the hospital and walked up to the admittance desk and told the woman my name and she goes, "Oh you're Roxanne! We have a room waiting for you! Fill this out!" Apparently since they changed my time (18 hours before I was supposed to check in) they wanted to be sure to get me in at my new time. Awesome. So, I filled everything out, they sent me through some doors where a nurse asked me some basic medical info + my name and birthday. I was asked my birthday about 10 times by about 10 different people. If someone in the medical field could explain to me why this is relevant, or whether it's used to make sure I'm coherent, or whether they just couldn't read it on my bracelet I'd greatly appreciate it.

Then I was given my hospital gown and some fancy puce colored socks with rubber on them (so I don't fall down obviously). I was also given a locker to store my things and asked to change and come back to the original room. First, I opened up my gown, and I'm not really sure how many of me they thought there having surgery. I realize that hospital gowns must be one size fits all but the gown I was given would also fit someone who is 7'0 and weighs 400 lbs. Now before I proceed, this wasn't a TYPICAL gown. It was a lovely lavender colored gown, and by far the fanciest paper gown I have ever encountered. There were vents, and Velcro at the shoulders and a cute little paw print. I put it on, tied it, put on my puce socks and headed back to the main room.

About 5 mins later my doctor came and got me and I left my new friend, the 50 year old man in the lavender one-size-fits-all gown, and walked through the surgery wing. I walked RIGHT past the surgery board which made me feel very Grey's Anatomy for a second. Then he put me on a gurney and left to find my anesthesiologist. BTW, I don't know how a tall person fits on a gurney. I remarked that is was the perfect size for me and that I don't know how a tall person fit (my feet were about 3" from the end) and they said, "one size fits all". I think I need to find the person they're basing all of these gown and gurney measurements on.

Then I found out how cool my gown really was! The nurse asked me if I was cold, and I said, that I was fine. She said, "Are you sure? I can plug you in." I was intrigued and said, "Yes, I am a little cold". She then proceeded to pull what looked like a vacuum hose from the wall and plugged it into my gown. Suddenly warm air was rushing into my gown. Fancy.

My anesthesiologist * came along with her resident who I thought had put in my IV and when I said, "that wasn't so bad" said, "No, that's the shot we give you to numb the area so when we put the giant needle in it's not so bad." THANK YOU DR. JOHNSON! Doctors who numb the area before putting in needles are my favorite. My dentist in KC used to give me laughing gas, then rub my gum with Anbesol before giving me the Novocaine. Favorite. Dentist. Ever.

Then they wheeled me away to outside the operating room where my anesthesiologist said, "Now I'm going to make you work" and made me get off my gurney and walk into the operating room. When I walked in I must have had a "huh?" look on my face because she said, "an operating room can be kind of disorienting". Yeah, the "huh?" had more to do with it being an ACTUAL operating room and not some alcove where they move them in and out quickly. For some reason, because it was an outpatient procedure, I thought it would be like the room where I had my endoscopy. Yeah, not so much. Real operating room. Luckily the drugs were already flowing so I just hopped on the surgery table.

Then some wonderful nurse started laying warm towels on me. I felt just like Oprah. I asked the doctor if they were going to be taping the surgery, and unfortunately they said were not. The last thing I remember is saying to them, "that's too bad, my sisters would have liked that."

My first memory is shivering and my teeth chattering. I thought, well that's rather dramatic Rox, but then I heard them say, her temp is 95, and then they threw some more warm blankets on me. I REALLY need to get a blanket warmer. It's LOVELY.

I had an amazing nurse in recovery named Neven who came every time my blood pressure machine went off. Which I think at its highest it was 178/122 which is my best ever; I usually get an A+ for blood pressure which is what I told her. I think she thought I was still drugged up from surgery. She also gave me lots of drugs and made my first nose diaper for me when I told her my nose was leaky. Loved her.

Then I went to recovery II (no idea what this is called) and Rommi came and hung out with me, I was told what to do/what not to do before going back for my checkup on Monday and sent on my way! By the time Rommi saw me I was pretty coherent and we grabbed a cab and headed up to the Upper East Side! Thanks for coming to get me Romms!

I'll write more about my recovery later since this is getting pretty long, but let me assure you that I'm feeling great 1 week and 1 day post surgery. The body heals very quickly.

* I have nothing but respect for anesthesiologists and them keeping me alive during surgery, etc. I still think this is funny.

My Sniffer

At the beginning of next month I have a somewhat big event. I'm having surgery to repair my sniffer. When I moved to NYC I started being more aware of the fact that my nose runs pretty much constantly when outside, at the gym, etc. and that I do not enjoy this. Whenever I go to spinning I take a wad of Kleenex to blow my nose throughout the class, regardless of whether I have a cold. This bothers me. Additionally, I'm always sick which I attributed to riding on public transport but apparently could be related to other issues.

I went to an ENT (Ear, Nose and Throat doctor) in November to talk to him about my nose issues and what I assumed to be a deviated septum. While we chatted he talked about a variety of health problems related to my throat (adenoids and tonsils - removed), ears (tubes when a kid and constant itching) and nose (constant draining). I've never checked off more boxes in my life. Snoring...check. Breathing through nose issues...check. Ear issues...check.

Anyway, he said, let's get a CT scan to see how bad your nose is, and a sleep study to see how bad your snoring is. He also shoved an incredibly long instrument up my nose which I can only assume was to have an up close and personal talk with my sinuses. Basically the CT scan found that I have a severely deviated septum which is likely to blame for my faucet nose and breathing issues and the sleep study found that I do NOT have sleep apnea like my dad. No Darth Vader mask for me. Woot! (FYI - it sounds more like Darth than looks) However, we did have this conversation:

Dr. Cohen: Did we discuss your snoring last visit?
Roxie: Not really, I told you I snored. You asked how bad it was and I said, people tell me it's loud.
Dr. Cohen: Well, I didn't realize how loud it was. Most people are +2 decibels above their baseline read, you are a +12 decibels. You snore impressively loud for such a small woman. I'd expect that reading for a very large man who is a hundred pounds overweight.

Did you hear that Internet? I snore like a lumberjack. Awesome.

Net-net, I'm having surgery in a couple weeks. There are two objectives. One, repair my sniffer. He'll basically cut out the cartilage that is blocking me from breathing and put in splints to ensure that it stays straight while it's healing. Two, he'll insert some implants into my soft palate that'll toughen it up and make it vibrate less while I'm sleeping (decrease snoring). The second part is elective but I figure if I'm going to get surgery to correct my snoring someday, I might as well do it while I'm under general anaesthesia. All surgery that is done under local anaesthetic freaks me out. "Roxie, open your tiny mouth really wide so I can shove some matchsticks into your soft palate, you won't feel a thing." Yeah, no.

So, basically, that's what's going on in my life in the next month or so! I'm really hoping that it has an effect on my breathing, etc. I've heard from a lot of people that it will completely change my life and be incredibly painful for a week. Come on pain pills!

If I'm not feeling self conscious I'll post post-op pictures of me with puffy face and bruised eyes but there is definitely a possibility that I'll be a touch self-conscious about looking like someone from the Goonies and will keep those under wraps.

Send out good wishes to me February 3rd!

It's hot in heeerrrrrrr

Ask my family, I'm SUCH a baby when it comes to being cold. At all winter holidays I walk around wrapped in blankets or my favorite poncho and the space heater in my room is always set at high. It's in particular contrast because my family members are mammalian and can withstand a normal range of temperature without complaining.

This past weekend I rearranged my room (there are two possible arrangements, I went back to the original) and when doing so, decided to take my air conditioner out of my window. It has been there since summer '07 and I just dealt with the draft from Winter '07/'08 by sealing it with a blanket and some packing tape. Well, it's been particularly cold in my room in the mornings lately (approximately 60-65 degrees F) and basically I WANT TO DIE.

So, now that the A/C is out of the window I'm experiencing something I call, "Tropics in January". For example, when I took the A/C out of my window my room was a comfortable 73 degrees (from a space heater...ahem, I'm a baby). Now that the A/C is not letting in a draft, my bedroom is approximately 83 degrees. My window has been open for approximately 1 hour (at 32.2 degrees) and it's still 83.3 degrees. I'm not sure that removing my A/C was such a great move. I mean, I like being warm, but this is no blankets, tank top and shorts warm.

I'll keep you posted on my baking while sleeping status and maybe be a better blogger. No promises.

The Vomit Tree is back :(

OUCH!

July 16th was the most recent post. Huh. Sorry y'all.

I've been getting some, are you updating your blog questions lately and I can only answer. Um...yeah, no. Sorry, I've been lazy.

So, lots of things have happened since July 16th, for example:

• My birthday was held at a bar that didn't allow flip flops (had no idea before) and looked A LOT like the Ministry of Magic (see 'Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix'). Regardless, it was a really great time.
• I went home for Beers 'n Ears at the beginning of August. It was a lot of fun and I forgot how much I enjoy being home in South Dakota during the summer. I love being home when the corn is tall and green and the lawn and flowers are in their peak and when I'm surrounded by my whole family. Due to a sickness of Trent Reznor, little sister was able to stay for the whole weekend and it was really great.
• While home in the Southern Dakota I went to a street dance, which was AWESOME. I've never been a street dance before, and since I knew everyone there, it was particularly fun. I had a great time and am really looking forward to next June and my 10 year reunion and the sesquicentennial of Elk Point, SD. It'll be a very fun weekend!
• Two weekends after the South Dakota trip I went on the annual trip to Ocean City, NJ. Friends from PSB and I have gone on this trip for about 4 years which is amazing. What is more amazing, is that we do the same thing every time. Friday, get in late, hit the hot tub at Erica's mom's house. Saturday, go to the beach (play in the ocean, almost drown --waves kick by butt), Saturday night, go out in Atlantic City (wait until Michael Phelps wins gold), Sunday, lay by the pool, order Sack'o'Subs and head back to NYC. It's so much fun and I look forward to it every year.
• Since then I've just been hanging out in NYC. My friend Rommi found an amazing bar called the Frying Pan that is on a pier in the Hudson River which allows you to enjoy living on an island. I have to admit, my biggest complaint about Manhattan is that, "I LIVE ON AN ISLAND! WHEN CAN I HANG OUT ON THE WATER?!?!" Ok, a little extreme with all the caps, but seriously, there are a limited number of locations that you can really enjoy the water.
• Summer in New York was very mild in my opinion. Now that it's getting cold and fall/winter is coming I definitely feel that I got jipped.
• New Yorker Festival: Ok, so this hasn't happened yet, but I'm going to the New Yorker Festival for the first time since starting to read the magazine. My friend Gretchen turned me on to the New Yorker when I was living in DC. When in DC I looked at the NY festival as something that'd be so fun to attend, but because I didn't live there, would be something I aspire to. Well, last year, I wasn't able to attend because I was out of town, this year, on October 4th (I think) I get to attend, 'Humor in Politics' at the NY festival. I'm thrilled to see Samantha Bee from the Daily Show, hopefully I'll update after the event.
• I'm hyper interested in the state of presidential affairs right now, and because I'm assuming 90% of the people who read this know where I fall politically I won't state it here, but I can't promise that I won't mention my thoughts in the coming weeks. Part of the reason that I haven't been updating lately is likely because of my political feelings and not wanting to offend people. If I do, I apologize.

I hope everyone is well and I apologize for not updating more regularly.

xoxox

Rox

Beers 'n Ears

Anyone who knows me personally knows that I talk frequently about my family's annual charity event, Beers 'n Ears. This year's event will benefit, Support Siouxland Soldiers which is an on-going care-package program that sends flat-rate boxes full of snacks, games, hygiene items and more to the deployed, Siouxland members of the Armed Forces.

We typically raise money through sales of meal tickets (all you can eat pulled-pork sandwiches, sweet corn, various salads and desserts, oh and ice-cold Miller Lite), through our live auction, and through sales of T-shirts adorned with the Beers 'n Ears logo.

Over the years people have asked me, "Where can I get one of those shirts?", well the answer is...right here. An image of this year's shirt is below but I want to mention a few "tweaks". The color of the shirts is "olive" so not identical (but close) to what is below, the logo will be a bit larger, and the logo will also be distressed because...10 years baby! We're vintage!


If you're unable to attend this year's bash, and would like to purchase a shirt (no pressure, if you don't want one, I will not be offended) please email your name, mailing address and size to deb@beersandears.com.

The total cost per shirt is $15 (add $2 for XXXL) + $4.80 shipping and handling. The shirts will be shipped around the day of the event (August 2nd) as long as you've paid the handy PayPal invoice my mom, Deb, will send you once she's received your order.

**We need all orders by July 21st, 5pm EST (sorry for the rush) so if you want one, you better respond fast.**

Crazy day

Someone left her apartment today at 11:30am to go meet a friend and finds herself coming home at 1:00am. She did NOT plan to not come home all day, but this happens when you go to meet your friend for some needed catching up, then get invited to go see BON JOVI IN CENTRAL PARK, then have to find food, then go to a birthday party.

More to come on today's events, particularly fulfilling my 13 year-old's fantasy of seeing Bon Jovi. However, don't get uber jealous, somehow my pale self managed to forget sunscreen so I have a glorious sunburn and some pretty ridiculous tanlines that I will be working on correcting tomorrow.

Stay tuned for more on today's happenings...

Just Call Me Butter, because I'm on a Roll

Since my movie is broken I'll just keep blogging away, la la la la.

I haven't blogged about music in awhile so I can write about that. My latest obsessions are Meiko and Katy Perry. I know, more chick singers, I'm going through a phase. A very long phase.

I probably mentioned her, but I heard Meiko at the Hotel Cafe Tour I went to this Spring. I bought her CD shortly after and I have been listening to it quite a lot lately.

Katy Perry has one of the hits of the Summer according to a lot of lists I've seen. Her single "I Kissed a Girl" is all over the radio and in my opinion isn't even the best song on her album. Yes, it's a little scandalous, so it's getting lots of attention, which is a briliant move on behalf of her label. But there are some other great songs on her album, like One of the Boys.

Public Transportation

I gotta give WMATA (Washington Metro Area Transit Authority) credit, they are WAY ahead of MTA (New York's transit authority) in terms of efficiency. I love how many trains/buses run in New York, that you never have to walk far unless you want to, but dude, you go to WMATAs website and it tells you what time the next train is coming.

Yes, I get that this is not entirely necessary in NYC because the trains come so frequently, but it's awesome, and I'm sad I never used it when I lived here. It would have saved me a lot of time sitting at my metro stop trying to go somewhere on the weekend. Somehow I always got there as the last train was pulling away.

They also have the fancy screens to tell you when the next train is coming which again, not really necessary on some lines in NYC, but it'd be nice. Unfortunately, MTA doesn't have any money so it'll be some time until I see this stuff.

DC2NY

I am currently riding on the DC2NY bus, similar to Bolt Bus, and am having a lovely trip. It's about $15 more expensive than the Chinatown bus but they are new, clean, equipped with wireless Internet, they give you a bottle of water AND COOKIES. Guess what I'm most excited about? Well, you're wrong, it's the Internet. Don't be fooled by caps lock again kids.

I'm currently blogging and watching a movie on Netflix "Watch Instantly" which is my new favorite feature. It requires no explanation but I have time to kill so here it is. Basically you can watch older releases through streaming video so when I'm between movies I can watch stuff on my laptop. Ok, so my movie 'Bed of Roses' just stopped. Maybe not so great for the bus but great for lying in bed. Can't wait to get home.